What is it about infidelity and faithfulness?

QLU project
When we fall in love

When we fall in love with someone else and it is answered, you know your life is about to change. The more you get to know each other, the more you know if you can rely on each other. Promises and vows may have been said and trust is part of the process unfolding. Because trust is the foundation love is build upon, isn’t it. We all want to be the one that is loved without any conditions, and to be the one solely. At least for most people this is how they perceive a relationship of lovers. There are many forms of stepping into a relationship, and not all are born from love. They can come from power and overpowering, instead of empowerment of each other. Or it comes from a place where manipulation serves another goal all together.

We want to be in a safe relationship. What is it that safety requires? Trust and faith are tools that are part of a safe and loving relation. Not the need to change someone because it suits better. Nor the way where domination is a bigger part of the whole sharing and exchange of energy. Physically, emotionally as well mentally there is the need of trust and feeling secure within the relationship. Any kind of relationship needs these tools, as part of a loving and caring relation. If there is lack of trust and faith, we start to question every action or intent. We can only bring in our selves within a relationship. The best way you can, giving and sharing is not always easy when you have been experiencing infidelity.

Or being the one who has been searching for something else outside the relationship. As a result of a lot of different aspects no doubt. For each one has its own reason, sometimes for the thrill, other times to prove something to one self. Am I still attractive, I don’t feel loved in this relationship, I fell in love with someone else. We can all come up with lots of different reasons why someone could make the choice to be unfaithful within a relationship. Sometimes after a couple a years, or 30 years along the road together. What makes a relationship thrilling and abundantly to stay true to each other? The way we are loving and caring? Sometimes that isn’t even enough. So how can we deal with it, when it takes you by surprise if it happens.

It all starts within ourselves how trust worthy we can or want to be, isn’t it. If you want to be the loving partner that you can trust, within a transparent loving relationship, you have to know yourself. You have to know what triggers you, or what makes you doubt yourself. Where are the traps still innate within that might prevent you to love full stop. Unconditionally loving someone is only coming from unconditionally loving yourself. That comes first. That doesn’t mean you don’t have flaws, or issues you still need to work on. It means you learn to deal with the fear and the pain or sorrow in a healthy way. To understand and comprehend it takes time and energy, as well to be willing to take a good look at yourself.

To be true to yourself, to answer to this need of being trusted, it might take work to heal the wounded parts. The painful experiences that are lingering within, even though you might think they were already resolved. Because if you don’t, it will come back within every new relationship you encounter. Knowing yourself, also means you are more able to be part of a relationship without being to dependent of the acknowledgement. Asking for love instead of loving from within, will make all the difference. Insecurity is one of the aspects that will make you more needy of approval. Of being validated. Yet at the same time, when you are being betrayed, it will not just hurt you even more. It will also create more insecurity and hurtful feelings.

To us humans, the importance of trust and faith within a relationship, is not only between parents and their child, between 2 lovers. It is also reflected and mirrored in the outside world, our community we live in. Our nation and the way the government is treating their communities. Promises that are being made, will their be trust, can we have faith in them. Our micro world is mirrored in the macro world. On all levels. In every nation, all over the world, we find this issue about the need of trust and faith. That is why this is so important for us, that is why we have so much trouble to have faith and trust.

Infidelity and being faithful is this pain point that needs to be addressed. Because of the pain it causes, the way it keeps us apart from each other, instead of bringing us together. Love is the only tool we can use to mend and repair. From the inside out, we are able to make progress. The most important relationship you have is with yourself. Building on trust and faith within, from a loving space, we are able to heal. To make a stand, to create a new way of being part within any relationship. We all have this possibility to create this inner loving and trusting nature for oneself. By doing so, we will create more then we thought we ever could. It will be like throwing a pebble in the water, which will create circles that keep on expanding. With Love.

And so it will be

 

 

 

Rhea DopmeijerHeartfelt Messages

High Self @RheaDopmeijer ©

 

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