Hadil Diaf

QLU project
Hadil Diaf

The beginning of a surprising life: I came into this world on February 27th 2000, I was the first child in the family so I had brought plenty of joy into the whole family in general, aunts and uncles from both sides loved me and have tried everything just to make me happy during my childhood, I was doing great.  Also at my day care, my nanny loved me like I was her own daughter too and we could say that I had a really joyful and peaceful childhood. However, I sometimes had some reflections about life despite my very young age.  I even had some weird dreams about the universe, God and humans, dreams I ignored until I became old enough to know the depth of their meaning. 

Everything was going so well until my second year in primary school, in which I changed my class and met new jealous and mean girls who didn't appreciate my presence in their class because I took their places with my arrival and got higher grades than them every time. My teacher wasn't not so nice at the beginning.  I even hated him so much for his rude temper and angry mood, the first month was like a living hell in addition to the stressed relationship of my parents at that time, which made my father in a very bad mood and often mad and violent; I was a helpless child in an awful situation.  I gave my best in school  and tried to make both my parents better over time. I had succeeded in my test and I couldn't be happier, but, months later, something changed in my parents and they became a bit distant from me.  They didn't show the same interest in me as before when I really needed their support.  At school my friends turned against me and I was so lonely and very hurt. I remember crying hours long at night when everyone thought I was sleeping. I had the worst years, but I didn't know that a bigger disappointment was ahead of me.

At my final year, the fifth year where we are supposed to pass a national exam to go to middle school, I made myself a goal, I wanted to be the first in nation in that exam and honour all my family, I worked so hard and I had really perfect marks during the school year but at the exam results I was only second on the state and it was very disappointing and frustrating to me. I moved on and promised myself to do my best in the next exam to come which was to be in 4 years.

 

When things really started to be tougher:

Hadil Diaf

My first year had a bright start, but I couldn't reach the average I was seeking so I was a bit let down but it didn't affect me much.  Then my grandmother died after struggling with disease, and the last memory I have of her is the day where we were leaving my grandparent’s house with a big chaos behind us made by me, so I didn't have a bright image of my relationship with her although I didn't love that much, but in all ways, she was family and her death really shocked me deeply.

In my second year, I faced some light troubles with a teacher of mine because of a misunderstanding that could cost me my good reputation if I haven't acted quickly, but few weeks after that incident, some friends of mine ( at least I thought they were) got me in a big issue that is unforgivable in my family and I had really rough times at home, God knows what I’ve been through these days..

The next year, things got a lot better, my new Arabic teacher was really keen on supporting me until I finally had my achievement level (this was received with indifference by my parents).  My result was higher than my teachers daughter, so she turned against me and did all she could to bring me down and begged all her daughter's teachers to be easy on her and give her some "free" grades, I was devastated by the injustice I was victim of but what made things even worse was my mother's reaction when I was crying to her about what I was facing at school, and it even injured my hurt soul even more. 2 months later I had to have an urgent surgery to take out an ovarian cyst that shouldn't have reached that level of danger, I was completely broke down, my body was so weak and unable to do anything on its own, my head was aching and my mind a total chaos.  Everything changed in me after that..I fell into a depression a few days later.  My mother was not helping at all and my situation got worse, but I had my faith back again and I could get myself out of it, but the pain always remains hidden in my heart haunting my nights and killing my joy.

I started to be in contact with the universe through my times of reflecion and dreams, I developed my own philosophy and concept about the creation, few months later I met a FB friend that helped me even more to improve my relation with the universe and see what's hidden behind everything.

 

Another great disappointment that finally led to my awakening: 

My fourth and last middle school year was full of action, I worked so hard and I really struggled to keep myself the first in school because of my Arabic teacher who hadn’t changed her attitude, I prayed from all my heart to reach my goal and be the first in my national and final exam, but I failed, I only had a 18.48 as average and a plenty had 19s.  I was so broke, I was devastated, hurt, I only found few friends to support me and my parents were furious of my reaction to such a ""great" mark as they said..  All I needed from them is some support and understanding but I only got anger and rage against me when I was in a very strong need of parental affection. I was broken.

During that summer, ( last summer), I got back to writing the book I haven’t finished because of my father's hurtful words when I was first starting it in my second middle  school year.  I turned to reading and I really changed myself, mind and attitude, I became a bit awkward and so unsocial, but I learned how to see things deeply and how to analyse everything very well, I simply awakened and started to see what was so unclear to me before, I became better and calmer, smarter and wiser and it helped me very much get over the heartbreak I've had 9 months later and move on with my writings to the next level.  I managed to publish my book online and in school, I had a small success and my friends and teacher's admiration (and the indifference of my parents unfortunately) and it was quite enough to pump the blood into my veins and make hope grow inside my heart once again.

That is, in few lines, the story of my short life so far, and I'm confident that the best is yet to come, and that all of what I had to go through was nothing but tests to make me stronger and help me get over life's challenges no matter how tough they might be.

I've registered some of my views about the world in a recent book of mine : Three Words In Humanity, which I hope will please you and inspire love, care and compassion to grow within you.  To make your light shine brighter.

Thank you for your time and interest, and may strength never leave you.